BREAKING: David Axelrod to Resign Amid Allegations

You did WHAT???WashingtonIsBroke has heard from sources that do not wish to be disclosed that top political adviser to President Barack Obama, David Axelrod plans to resign after allegations surfaced that Axelrod had an inappropriate relationship with a male staffer. According to one source, the relationship in question began late one evening on Capitol Hill when the staffer insinuated that Axelrods' last name meant something "good" and one thing led to another. The accusations come at a time when Axelrod and his fellow Socialist are making plans to take more control of the House, hoping to capitalize on the momentum of the passage of health care reform.

Learning of the allegations, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi was quoted as saying "I'm from San Francisco. We see this sort of thing all the time. It's just such a shame that he felt he couldn't be open about it." Given the love between Axelrod and Pelosi, it was no surprise that Axelrod was embarrassed by Pelosi's suggestion that he was a closeted homosexual. An unverified report indicates that Axelrod responded to Pelosi's remarks with some of his own. "I resent Speaker Pelosi's comments," said Axelrod. "They are unfounded, untrue, and wholly offensive. I demand that she retract her statement immediately, lest I be forced to enlist in a Henry Waxman style politics." To which Speaker Pelosi responded "Forced to enlist? From what I hear, you're already an officer."

And, in related news, Axelrod and his wife will be traveling to Illinois where they will join with Henry Waxman to help their fellow Communists out on the 2010 campaign trail. All events have yet to be scheduled, but tentative plans have Axelrod visiting the Chicago area, while his wife, Debbie, does Dallas.


Disclaimer: While I generally don't like Axelrod, this entire post is written in jest. It is meant purely as satire and all of its contents are fictitious. In other words, this is a joke, meant for entertainment purposes only and should not be construed as fact or even alleged fact.


Syndicate content